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Title: Kickassian Tradgedy
Summary: What if Critic did succeeded in blowing up Kickassia
Disclaimer: The characters are not mine. There might be some typos and some OOC'ness, hopefully not to bad plus a little critique, did the dialogue and such came out alright in this story?
“Nerd I told you before...its not your fault,”
“Then why do I still feel like it fucking is?”
Nerd and Iron Liz were currently in a hotel room in Reno. They had just got back from surveying the damage cause by the Critic blowing up 20 tons of dynamite. A couple days ago Nerd, wanting to see how things were going with the new nation, flew into Nevada. Iron Liz had ran into the Nerd on the connecting plane, wanting to see Linkara.
“....you want to know why he didn’t go off killing people in a movie hate rage or whatever? That was me. I kept that fucker balanced,” Nerd stated, standing up. Liz was just staring at him, sitting on the bed, “...you should hate me, cause of me, you never gonna have Linkara’s kids.”
“I don’t hate you,” Iron Liz then stood up and got closer, “You didn’t cause this,”
The Nerd had started crying again as Liz went over to hug him. He had failed again to hold them back.
“We have to start calling the others soon,” Liz then said, some tears were rolling down her face, “I made a list earlier of people we have to call,”
---------------------------------------------------
“Thank you for coming. Do you guys remember what I told you over the phone?.”
It was the next day and Liz had just let in Harvey Finevoice and Ask That Guy into the room a minute ago. Those two were the closest to Reno as they were in town doing a lounge show and picking up hookers respectively.
“Yep, we do,” Harvey replied.
“Well while I called both of you guys, the Nerd was calling The Other Guy...”
“Oh he did? How did he react?” Ask That Guy asked, already getting a feeling of what probably happened.
“I don’t know, he just ran into the bathroom and locked himself in there. He’s been there for 4 hours.” Liz explained.
No matter how insane the twins got, The Other Guy still cared and protected him.
“I’ll talk to him...”
“No, I’ll talk to him. I know all about you,” Harvey said, glaring at Ask That Guy.
“How about we both go in,” Ask That Guy suggested, after staring at each other for a minute.
Liz had decided to stay back in the room as the boys got in via Harvey jimmying the lock. It was easy for him as he had done it lots of time before. Where and when he would not answer.
The Nerd was sitting in the bathtub with the shower curtain drawn. He heard the noises from the door so he had pulled it around him as he didn’t want to be seen.
“Who the fucking hell is it?” Came the voice from the tub.
“Harvey and Ask That Guy,” replied Harvey, “can you tell us what happened,”
“I’m a fucking goddamn murderer, that’s what!”
“Is that he said when you called him?” Harvey asked, as Ask That Guy was starting to get the urge to call his older brother and call him out. At least he knew that other than his older brother, it was the Nerd that kept...well balanced.
“That bastard said I was the one responsible for the Critic going batshit insane and killing everyone!”
“Don’t listen to that dumbass...” Ask That Guy started yelling as he got closer to the side where the Nerd was, “You’re not a killer...me I have killed, Harvey he has killed..you...would only kill in self-defense am I right?”
“Look, the only thing we can blame you for is not stopping the Critic from going along with the idea!” Harvey then stated. The sound of crying was becoming a little louder, “It was the Critic’s insanity that cause him to blow them all up,”
“Look do you guys remember when me and the fucking Critic had that wedding ceremony? The Other Guy entrusted me to make sure Critic’s insanity and paranoianess doesn’t get the better of him...” What was coming out of the Nerd’s mouth had surprised the two boys, “He told me not to let the Critic get into any kind of fucking rage, that if I don’t then he would get so out of control that he’ll just kill people blindly. He also told me that....he fucking told...he’ll fucking maul me apart into little bit of fucking pieces if he ever hears I left the fucking Critic out of my sight for a week.”
More crying was heard as the two boys just stayed in silence for a minute.
“That’s it, I’m going to call that bastard!” Ask That Guy declared, starting to walk out of the bathroom, “I might’ve scarred the fuck out of you guys and probably would’ve egged him on with the plan, but at least I know you’ve would have stopped him from doing it if you had known my brother was going to get this crazy and kill everybody!”
Ask That Guy then stepped into the room and grabbed his cellphone. Liz was currently laying on the bed crying.
“Now look what the fuck happened? I let him go cause I though that since it was a crazy and stupidass plan that they would’ve given up after two days and the Critic would come back!” They all of course could hear the Nerd’s yelling, “...but no because of the fucking Nerd everyone is dead! Including my one true fucking love in the fucking universe!”
Meanwhile Liz eyes had become dry so now she was just laying on her side listening to Critic’s twin yell into the phone. It was two minutes later that Ask That Guy hung up. She turned to the other side to see Ask That Guy scribble a note before stomping out of the hotel room.
It was the loud noise from the door slamming shut and when Liz started crying again that made Harvey came out and see what happened.
“Liz darling, what happened?”
“Ask That Guy wrote this note before leaving,” Liz handed him the piece of paper, “The Other Guy doesn’t want to do anything to do with the Nerd anymore,”
Harvey and Liz were sitting on the bed when the Nerd finally came out, having overheard what Liz said.
“I can fucking live with that,” The Nerd simply said.
It was the next day when everyone else found out the news.
--------------------------------------------------
Its been 5 years since the funerals for all of their fallen friends. Five years since Liz and Nerd lost their beloved. Five years since Liz, having can’t take seeing the Linkara lookalikes, moved in with the Nerd.
5 years since the website became more or less an archival site and the Nerd, more or less a hikkikomori outside of seeing Liz and on occasion, Kyle.
“Its been this long and I’m still not used to not seeing Linkara,” Liz stated one day, while sitting on the living room couch. The Nerd was next to her, playing a game when she said that.
“Life lost all meaning for me that day,” Liz then looked at him, “...what I fucking mean by that is...when was the last time you fucking seen me get out of this damn house?”
“..you’re saying there is no reason anymore to go out?” The Nerd responded to what Liz said by going back to his game.
------------------------------------------------------------
2 years later the Nerd and Liz found themselves pretty much raising a kid from a trouble family down the street from where they live. A few days ago said kids parents were arrested.
“Nerd the police called, they said we’re Doug’s foster parents now,”
“Ok,” Nerd said. He was in the living room watching the little boy play, “..hmm you know Doug was the fucking Critic’s real name,”
“Oh?”
“Yeah.....this kid even reminds me of a younger Critic,”
The Nerd and Liz watched Doug for a second before the game reviewer turned to Liz, “Do you fucking think perhaps this is the fucking reincarnation of the Critic?”
“I...don’t know...he could be,”
-------------------------------------------
Years passed and little Doug grew up to be a man in his 20’s. He was currently visiting his parents.
“Is there something on face? I can wash myself up in the bathroom,” The Nerd was staring at him, wide-eyed.
“No, its not that. You just fucking look like an old damn love of mine,” The now older Nerd said, “You fucking look just like him, only with longer hair and you’re not fucking bald,”
Doug laughed as he went into the house.
Summary: What if Critic did succeeded in blowing up Kickassia
Disclaimer: The characters are not mine. There might be some typos and some OOC'ness, hopefully not to bad plus a little critique, did the dialogue and such came out alright in this story?
“Nerd I told you before...its not your fault,”
“Then why do I still feel like it fucking is?”
Nerd and Iron Liz were currently in a hotel room in Reno. They had just got back from surveying the damage cause by the Critic blowing up 20 tons of dynamite. A couple days ago Nerd, wanting to see how things were going with the new nation, flew into Nevada. Iron Liz had ran into the Nerd on the connecting plane, wanting to see Linkara.
“....you want to know why he didn’t go off killing people in a movie hate rage or whatever? That was me. I kept that fucker balanced,” Nerd stated, standing up. Liz was just staring at him, sitting on the bed, “...you should hate me, cause of me, you never gonna have Linkara’s kids.”
“I don’t hate you,” Iron Liz then stood up and got closer, “You didn’t cause this,”
The Nerd had started crying again as Liz went over to hug him. He had failed again to hold them back.
“We have to start calling the others soon,” Liz then said, some tears were rolling down her face, “I made a list earlier of people we have to call,”
---------------------------------------------------
“Thank you for coming. Do you guys remember what I told you over the phone?.”
It was the next day and Liz had just let in Harvey Finevoice and Ask That Guy into the room a minute ago. Those two were the closest to Reno as they were in town doing a lounge show and picking up hookers respectively.
“Yep, we do,” Harvey replied.
“Well while I called both of you guys, the Nerd was calling The Other Guy...”
“Oh he did? How did he react?” Ask That Guy asked, already getting a feeling of what probably happened.
“I don’t know, he just ran into the bathroom and locked himself in there. He’s been there for 4 hours.” Liz explained.
No matter how insane the twins got, The Other Guy still cared and protected him.
“I’ll talk to him...”
“No, I’ll talk to him. I know all about you,” Harvey said, glaring at Ask That Guy.
“How about we both go in,” Ask That Guy suggested, after staring at each other for a minute.
Liz had decided to stay back in the room as the boys got in via Harvey jimmying the lock. It was easy for him as he had done it lots of time before. Where and when he would not answer.
The Nerd was sitting in the bathtub with the shower curtain drawn. He heard the noises from the door so he had pulled it around him as he didn’t want to be seen.
“Who the fucking hell is it?” Came the voice from the tub.
“Harvey and Ask That Guy,” replied Harvey, “can you tell us what happened,”
“I’m a fucking goddamn murderer, that’s what!”
“Is that he said when you called him?” Harvey asked, as Ask That Guy was starting to get the urge to call his older brother and call him out. At least he knew that other than his older brother, it was the Nerd that kept...well balanced.
“That bastard said I was the one responsible for the Critic going batshit insane and killing everyone!”
“Don’t listen to that dumbass...” Ask That Guy started yelling as he got closer to the side where the Nerd was, “You’re not a killer...me I have killed, Harvey he has killed..you...would only kill in self-defense am I right?”
“Look, the only thing we can blame you for is not stopping the Critic from going along with the idea!” Harvey then stated. The sound of crying was becoming a little louder, “It was the Critic’s insanity that cause him to blow them all up,”
“Look do you guys remember when me and the fucking Critic had that wedding ceremony? The Other Guy entrusted me to make sure Critic’s insanity and paranoianess doesn’t get the better of him...” What was coming out of the Nerd’s mouth had surprised the two boys, “He told me not to let the Critic get into any kind of fucking rage, that if I don’t then he would get so out of control that he’ll just kill people blindly. He also told me that....he fucking told...he’ll fucking maul me apart into little bit of fucking pieces if he ever hears I left the fucking Critic out of my sight for a week.”
More crying was heard as the two boys just stayed in silence for a minute.
“That’s it, I’m going to call that bastard!” Ask That Guy declared, starting to walk out of the bathroom, “I might’ve scarred the fuck out of you guys and probably would’ve egged him on with the plan, but at least I know you’ve would have stopped him from doing it if you had known my brother was going to get this crazy and kill everybody!”
Ask That Guy then stepped into the room and grabbed his cellphone. Liz was currently laying on the bed crying.
“Now look what the fuck happened? I let him go cause I though that since it was a crazy and stupidass plan that they would’ve given up after two days and the Critic would come back!” They all of course could hear the Nerd’s yelling, “...but no because of the fucking Nerd everyone is dead! Including my one true fucking love in the fucking universe!”
Meanwhile Liz eyes had become dry so now she was just laying on her side listening to Critic’s twin yell into the phone. It was two minutes later that Ask That Guy hung up. She turned to the other side to see Ask That Guy scribble a note before stomping out of the hotel room.
It was the loud noise from the door slamming shut and when Liz started crying again that made Harvey came out and see what happened.
“Liz darling, what happened?”
“Ask That Guy wrote this note before leaving,” Liz handed him the piece of paper, “The Other Guy doesn’t want to do anything to do with the Nerd anymore,”
Harvey and Liz were sitting on the bed when the Nerd finally came out, having overheard what Liz said.
“I can fucking live with that,” The Nerd simply said.
It was the next day when everyone else found out the news.
--------------------------------------------------
Its been 5 years since the funerals for all of their fallen friends. Five years since Liz and Nerd lost their beloved. Five years since Liz, having can’t take seeing the Linkara lookalikes, moved in with the Nerd.
5 years since the website became more or less an archival site and the Nerd, more or less a hikkikomori outside of seeing Liz and on occasion, Kyle.
“Its been this long and I’m still not used to not seeing Linkara,” Liz stated one day, while sitting on the living room couch. The Nerd was next to her, playing a game when she said that.
“Life lost all meaning for me that day,” Liz then looked at him, “...what I fucking mean by that is...when was the last time you fucking seen me get out of this damn house?”
“..you’re saying there is no reason anymore to go out?” The Nerd responded to what Liz said by going back to his game.
------------------------------------------------------------
2 years later the Nerd and Liz found themselves pretty much raising a kid from a trouble family down the street from where they live. A few days ago said kids parents were arrested.
“Nerd the police called, they said we’re Doug’s foster parents now,”
“Ok,” Nerd said. He was in the living room watching the little boy play, “..hmm you know Doug was the fucking Critic’s real name,”
“Oh?”
“Yeah.....this kid even reminds me of a younger Critic,”
The Nerd and Liz watched Doug for a second before the game reviewer turned to Liz, “Do you fucking think perhaps this is the fucking reincarnation of the Critic?”
“I...don’t know...he could be,”
-------------------------------------------
Years passed and little Doug grew up to be a man in his 20’s. He was currently visiting his parents.
“Is there something on face? I can wash myself up in the bathroom,” The Nerd was staring at him, wide-eyed.
“No, its not that. You just fucking look like an old damn love of mine,” The now older Nerd said, “You fucking look just like him, only with longer hair and you’re not fucking bald,”
Doug laughed as he went into the house.
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Oh god! The IMAGES! I can just imagine the families of Angry Joe, Spoony, Marz, Chick, Linkara, Paw, Cinema Snob etc standing there in the rain during the furneral wearing black and holding pictures of thier dead babies *chokes up* ......... :'(
And little neices and nephews never seeing thier aunts and uncles again DX
Its so sad and yet so beauitful, and I just "d'awwwwed" at the end where Nerd and Liz adopt a child together! So beautiful!
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